Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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