Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
