she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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