Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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