I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
