my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
