maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He felt like a one man threesome
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
