i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
