my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
