I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
