i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
