It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
