dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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