I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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