I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
