Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
