When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
