i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
