thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
