Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
sex in a hospital.. check
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
