It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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