My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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