I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
