did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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