Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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