ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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