Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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