I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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