let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
