You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
