I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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