When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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