Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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