Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
