I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
