I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
