You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize