pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
