We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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