I'm lost and stupid without you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
