So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
