So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
