i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
