if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just had sex on a roof
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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