Please, let me fuck your mom
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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