her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
