if only i could text you this smell
Fuck appropriateness.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize