I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
