covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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