Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
