Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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