I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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