I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize