I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
