hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize