I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
