we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
