i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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