So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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